Psychic Abilities of Ganymede's Ghost Proven Once Again

If you are my parents, a relative over 50, or someone who uses the word "practicing" to modify your religious and superstitious preferences, you might want to stop reading now [or pour another drink]. I was right about not going to the Black Party. According to more than one first-hand account obtained by Gawker outside Roseland on Sunday morning, SOMEONE TOOK A DUMP ON THE DANCEFLOOR. I wonder if the culprit was admitted at the under-30 discount rate?

Another Reason Why NYC Is the Safest Big City in the US [and Philly Isn't]

Now it's illegal [in a city of eight million souls] for more than fifty "pedestrians, bikes, or other human-powered vehicles" to go in the same direction at the same time without getting a "parade permit." Is that like a dancehall license? How can they outlaw dancing when the bars don't have to close 'til 4:00? What happens when everybody gets off the train from Jersey and sprints in the same direction out of Penn Sation? Do they need a separate permit for each escalator? I don't know, Virginia. I live in Philadelphia. We still believe in Mother Earth. Our traffic can be just as bad, but we don't freak out when a bunch of hippies on bikes go weaving in and out of our gridlock. We even maintain our calm while packs of roller bladers and skateboarders do it out of pure joy with absolutely no ulterior political motives [like saving the planet].