The sky is falling, hell is freezing, and the United States of America is running out of bullets.

Finally, MS NBC has unearthed incontrovertible proof that the directional flow of Cheney's circulatory system was reversed after he turned into a giant blood clot.

Democrats, who control the Pennsylvania House of Representatives by one vote, are urging their fellow partisans to pester the Republicans, who control the Pennsylvania Senate by a slim margin, not to fail to fund the Jonas Salk Legacy Fund, which could create thousands of decent jobs in the healthcare and biomedical research sector of the Commonwealth's victorian but plucky economy as well as help cure devastating diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Republcan spokesdemons say, "Not only is failing to act a good way to screw the poor in need of decent jobs, it's also a conveniently indirect and underhanded way to support the Bush-Cheney junta's opposition to stem cell research, which is incredibly unpopular amongst voters in this rapidly aging state. But no, wait, the best part is, it actually makes it easier for Baby Jesus to smite people afflicted with horrible diseases by preventing the discovery of so-called cures, which we believe are actually nothing more than spells cast by witches."

I love living in a free country!

Transgender-Themed Mural Stays (for now)

The Inky is reporting that a transgender-themed mural on a victorian house in Center City will be preserved against the wishes of the historical commission, whose members claim to be unaware of the neighborhood's historical role as a safe haven for sexual minorities.

At the Beach

Sorry for not so many posts these past few weeks. Been very busy getting ready to go away and do nothing.

According to Spiegel, the Tet Offensive may finally be over, in a month or two.

Michael Moore rips Wolf Blitzer a new asshole.

Someone who appears to be a little bit preoccupied with the rules might have posted the internal White House phone directory.