Inspiring and Sad at the Same Time

Fifty school children (albeit, the best and the brightest of this year's graduating seniors) turned a tour of the White House and visit with the alleged president into an opportunity to give him a handwritten letter urging him to do everything in his power to end all the well documented human rights abuses currently being perpetrated by the Bush-Cheney junta.

Biologic Agents Found In, On and Around Senate Gallery

It could be "an unfortunate incident involving a child," but it's more likely a shockingly disgusting yet fiendishly creative political statement made by several adults who smuggled in an enormous amount of putatively human shit.

Republicans Prefer Violence

Taking an obvious conflict-resolving lead from the Bush-Cheney junta, a Republican member of the Alabama legislature attempted to exert his political will by punching a Democrat with whom he disagreed. Charlton Heston is expected to arrive shortly with a surge of pro-violence reinforcements from the NRA.