Open Wide

Open Wide

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I like the guy who screamed, "God DAMN America!" better

It appears as though president-elect Barrack Obama has begun to sell out the Queer community before he even takes office with the careful selection of a raving bigot to deliver an incantation at his official inauguration. Rick Warren, leader of a superstition-based organization near LA dedicated to the legal subjugation of lesbian and gay people often referred to as a "megachurch" by the corporate media, will attempt to lead our nation in an organized superstitious ritual during the inauguration of our next president. Plans for a public protest have not yet been formalized.

Friday, December 5, 2008

King of Luxembourg gets to keep his money

I don't understand much Luxembourgese, but I think this means that his official role is being changed from figurehead to hood ornament.

Here's another reason to love Philly

We almost never have dull news days.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Response to passage of Propostion 8 continues to grow nationwide

In California, another legal complaint was filed today because it is believed that the Mormons did not properly and legally report all money and labor that they donated to the political cause of persecuting gay and lesbian families in California. The California Supreme Court also appears to be taking the legal challenges to Prop 8 that have already been filed very seriously. Meanwhile, California Attorney General Jerry Brown appears visibly aged since November 5th. Perhaps he is losing sleep over the prospect of having to defend Prop 8 in court while also defending the validy of all the same-sex marriages performed between May and now? To complicate matters further, county clerks across the state are unclear on when or whether to stop issuing same-sex marriage licenses, and some appear to have made the decision based on subjective criteria. None appear to have made the decision in coordination with any other.

A nationwide protest planned for tomorrow, November 15, continues to attract national media attention. A "No-Gays-for-a-Day" nationwide protest is in the works for Friday, December 5, and Kathy Griffin has agreed to headline since her show is not airing on the planned date nor does she have any live gigs scheduled [and presumably her quote was met]. She plans on spending that day in the private company of Cher and Bette Midler.

In a less positive development, envelopes containing a "suspicious white powder" that turned out to be a "harmless substance" arrived in the mail yesterday at openly Mormon temples in LA and Salt Lake City. It is not known whether authorities are investigating the possibility that the envelopes were mailed by a Mormon (or Mormons) intent on making the LGBT community look bad (like that woman in Pittsburgh who carved a backwards B on her face and then falsely claimed to have been assaulted by an Obama supporter on the Drudge Report just before the election). After living in this country for thirty-eight years and paying attention to the news for about thirty, my best educated guess is that they aren't investigating that possibility, nor have they even entertained it. The authorities will, however, almost certainly use this episode as justification for further government encroachment on human and civil rights, especially in certain minority communities. Regardless of who sent them, the envelopes did cause the Mormons to temporarily divert money and labor that would otherwise have been spent persecuting gay and lesbian people, so I guess you could still say that every cloud has a silver lining [and maybe even magic underwear].

Monday, November 10, 2008

Passage of Prop. 8 in California catalyzes nationwide protests and resistance

It is now very clear that Proposition 8 was approved by California voters by a margin of 4.6%. This ballot proposition reclassifies gay and lesbian Californians as second-class citizens by reinstating a ban on same-sex marriages that was ruled unconstitutional by the California Supreme Court in May of 2008. This ban effectively withholds over one thousand special rights, responsibilities and privileges from up to 10% of the state's population. It is legally unclear whether the proposition will retroactively annul the tens of thousands of same-sex marriages that have been performed since the court decision that legalized them. It is also legally unclear whether the proposition will withstand numerous legal challenges that have already been filed against it.

The proposition passed with no small amount of financial and volunteer help from Christian extremists, many of whom, such as the Mormons in Utah and the all-male [wink] Roman Catholic hierarchy in the Vatican City, reside far beyond California's borders. Local nondenominational megachurches in California also contributed money and volunteer time to legally attacking the human rights of their own neighbors. If you'd like to know whether anybody in your hometown abetted this latest example of tyranny of the majority that will permanently stain American history books, you can search this database by specific name or browse a list of contributors by state and/or city. Hmmm, it appears that a John Templeton, Jr of Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, president of the Templeton Foundation, felt so strongly in favor of persecuting gay and lesbian families in California that he donated a honking $450,000 twice. Must have a been a good year for him.

In GLBT communities across the United States, reaction to the passage of this punitive and ambiguously worded proposition has been unexpectedly swift, assertive, widespread, and well attended. The international press has even taken notice. Protesters appear to be focusing their resistance on the Christian extremists who made this theft of human rights their latest crusade in a long, ultimately unsuccessful series of reactionary attempts to force those whose behavior they take issue with because it violates some of their superstitions to live the way they do.

If you'd like to protest Proposition 8 yourself, you are invited to make a big creative sign and go to your local city hall, Mormon temple, or Roman Catholic cathedral basilica this Saturday, November 15 for a national day of protest. You can find specific information about any planned protests in your hometown here. In California the demonstrations began spontaneously immediately after the results became known and continue to this day, especially in the gay-friendly areas of West LA and the San Francisco Bay. A protest at the Mormon temple in Manhattan, NY also attracted thousands on Wednesday, November 12.

If public demonstrations aren't your thing but you still want to express your feelings about this perversion of democracy, you can chat with a Mormon missionary online. Fun questions to ask might include, "Which version of traditional marriage is most traditional, the one where there is one woman and one man or the one where there is one man and as many girls and women as the man can afford or keep captive?" Or, "Why do you hate gay people and want to steal their human rights and dignity when Jesus said to love everybody as you would yourself?" You can also feel free to boycott the states of California and Utah, the former being much more difficult than the latter.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Personnel cut-backs at local newspapers become increasingly evident

This characteristically alliterated blurb for a local Martha Stewart book signing ran in today's Daily News. Although the prose is perky and fun, it makes our "doyenne of domesticity" sound as if she's not a native speaker of English. Also, note the lack of punctuation at the end of the second paragraph from last, which could not be highlighted because it's not there. One has to wonder if they laid off all their proofreaders during the most recent round of layoffs.

It's time to take down the Halloween decorations

A 90-year-old woman has been living with the corpses of her deceased siblings for years, one of whom was last seen in the early 80s. Foul play is not suspected despite the presence of foul vapors. Lawyers for the RNC plan to file suit to determine if, or how often, each of the deceased voted in the past seven presidential elections.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Californians pervert the machinery of democracy to abet religious extremists in an obsessive drive to re-secure special legal status

The state of California, second in the United States following Massachusetts to ensure legal equality for all of its citizens, has suffered a temporary legal set-back in the form of a confusing, discriminatory, and punitive ballot initiative that was funded in no small part by Christian extremists from other states, including the Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) in Utah. Although California election officials have not finished counting all the votes, the Christian extremists have already claimed victory in their obsessive drive to re-secure special rights for themselves and those who share their ancient, superstitious beliefs regarding the consensual sexual behavior of legally competent adults. Despite numerous appeals, it appears likely that California's gay and lesbian citizens will once again, at least temporarily, be designated second-class citizens to appease Christian extremists.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Perhaps allowing an 8-year-old to fire an Uzi is to the Second Amendment what allowing one to read Hustler would be to the First Amendment

Perhaps not. Setting all subjective moral beliefs aside, however, in the United States of America it is actually legal to allow a young child to fire an Uzi while allowing one to read Hustler would most certainly provide legal grounds for an inquiry from Child Protective Services likely to result in diminished parental rights and/or jail time. The adults who allowed this horrific shooting death to occur are as likely to face jail time as Hustler is to go out of business.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Bush-Cheney junta fires a parting shot at hungry kids in Philadelphia

According to the Inky, the Bush-Cheney junta is apparently not satisfied with the economic hardships it has already inflicted upon middle and lower income Americans. Now they want to eliminate Philadelphia's school breakfast and lunch programs to ensure that more of the most vulnerable members of our society will now face even more hunger and deprivation. It's disgusting but not surprising.

Monday, October 6, 2008

A New Infectious Disease May Be Emerging in Southern Africa

The Mail and Guardian reports that four people near Johannesburg have recently died from an unknown, apparently contagious illness that begins with flu-like symptoms. It may have originated in Tanzania, from whence the first two victims originated. Three out of four victims have tested negative for hemorrhagic fever, and the fourth will be tested today.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Democrats In Congress Roll Over for the Bush-Cheney Junta One More Time

The Washington Post is reporting that the Bush-Cheney junta and Congress have worked out a tentative government bailout plan for wealthy Americans who invested heavily and recklessly on Wall Street. Although the plan puts small limits on the golden parachutes of executives who ran their firms into the ground, it does nothing to help working class Americans caught up in the foreclosure crisis, which many believe is the root cause of the national financial crisis.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

First Presidential Debate Makes Clearer What Some of Us Already Knew

During last night's presidential debate, John McCain did an excellent job of projecting the image of a cranky, misinformed, narrow-minded, older straight white guy who can't think beyond his anger at the fact that the world and most of the people on it have changed around him despite his static position of inherited wealth and the power it can buy–most likely while he was napping. He is the kind of guy I would avoid sitting next to at a diner counter or corner bar so as not to ruin a good meal and/or beer with psycho-socio-racial-pathic heterosexist bile that should have been vented to a paid therapist in the Twentieth Century. When pressed by the moderator to answer a specific question about the economy with specific proposals rather than general campaign slogans, he recites the polysyllabic names of former Soviet naval ports, proving only that some cells in his brain containing memories from the 70s and 80s are still alive. He can't pronounce the name of the current, elected leader of Iran and becomes visibly annoyed when circumstances force him to make an attempt. I wouldn't trust him to conduct me safely through any of Philly's rougher neighborhoods after midnight without unnecessary gunfire and bloodshed, let alone to conduct two wars [one of which is completely illegal and counterproductive] in my name and allegedly on my behalf.

In addition to his poor and unsurprising performance in the debate, McCain has previously made clear his intention to prolong the Republican and Christian extremist-orchestrated suspension of our Constitution and Bill of Rights in order to continue the proactive denial of basic human rights to all non-heterosexual Americans, which he did not make any attempt to recant last evening. Before the debate, that was the deal-breaker for me. Now I don't feel so much like a one-issue voter.

I wish Obama would have been a little bit more assertive, but I agree with most of the specific proposals on his web site, which means I'll still vote for him. I suspect at this point he'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar anyways.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Help Slow Down the McCain-Palin Cabal With Ghost Contribution

Go to this online contribution link for the McCain-Palin cabal and enter garbage data. It will waste their time and money. And the best part is, they'll think you were referred by Matt Drudge's blog. If this doesn't sound like enough fun for you, see if you can do it using only obscenities or Obama campaign memes.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Neoconservative Fiscal Policy Declared Dead on FAUX News

According the Old Gray Lady, on Sunday the Bush-Cheney junta's Secretary of the "Treasury," Henry M. Paulson, Jr, made a very interesting statement while shilling for a taxpayer-funded bailout of wealthy investment bankers and those who ensured them that does nothing to help economically distressed, lower income homeowners who struggle daily to obtain the basic necessities of life such as potable water, food, fuel, and shelter.
“I hate the fact that we have to do it, but it’s better than the alternative,” Mr. Paulson said on “Fox News Sunday.”
Translation: admitting ideological defeat is better than allowing the situation to deteriorate to the point that my friends and I might not be able to keep our entire unfair share of wealth indefinitely.

McCain Campaign Continues to Shelter Palin from Real People Who Have Real Questions About Her Qualifications to Lead

Under the very close guard and control of dozens of lethally armed men in dark suits and sunglasses, Christoextremist candidate for vice president, Sarah Palin, delivered a very well orchestrated speech at a Republican retirement community just outside Disneyworld on Sunday, proving once again that she is capable of reading out loud while moving her lipstick. Members of the press as well as the general public were forbidden from asking Ms Palin any questions so as not to expose further her complete lack of qualifications and knowledge that many believe are required to run the United States without risking global financial catastrophe or a full-scale nuclear conflagration.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Reason Number 48 to Vote McCain-Palin

Despite what the Constitution and Bill of Rights say, you think it is a good idea to use the secret service to prevent American citizens who happen to disagree with the president and his surrogates from exercising their right to assemble and protest peacefully.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Reason Number 49 to Vote McCain-Palin

You think the best way to combat homelessness is to elect people who have lost count of their houses.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Reason Number 50 to Vote McCain-Palin

You would like to live in a country in which the new vice president ushers in an era of change by removing all the offensive and Satanic books from the Library of Congress.

Ganymede's Ghost Begins New Feature

Beginning this evening and continuing daily until the second Tuesday in November, Ganymede's Ghost will be providing one unique reason to vote for McCain and Palin in the upcoming US presidential election. In the event of travel beyond the corporeal plane of existence or the internet [which some people still do intentionally], more than one reason will be supplied on the day prior to travel [or the day after return].

Sunday, September 7, 2008

How Does One Attempt to Convince a Racist to Vote for Obama?

According to prominent Democrats campaigning with Joe Biden in Northeast Philadelphia, they tell them Obama's mother was white so perhaps he can see both sides of the issue, which in its current mortifying incarnation could determine the next President of the United States. It is also possible that these newly registered Democrats will end up determining the outcome.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

John "Maverick" McCain Selects a Bigotted Psycho Nazi Jesus Freak for His Running Mate

Her name is Sarah Palin, and she believes that American women should cede control of their genitalia and reproductive organs to a cabal of straight, white, male, hypocritical perverts in Washington who have become obsessed with controlling the sexual behavior of a nation of nearly 300 million people in order to make it conform to their own warped superstitious beliefs[, which allegedly have something to do with orthodox Christianity]. She believes that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people are less than human and do not deserve the equal protection of our legal system. She [is rumored to have] faked her seventeen-year-old daughter's first pregnancy by pretending it was her own fifth pregnancy and has now coerced that same daughter into bearing a second [or first] child before she is old enough to vote and into marrying its adolescent, teen-aged father under planetary public scrutiny. She is opposed to birth control. She thinks it's ethical to shoot wolves and bears from airplanes for state-subsidized sport, and she spent almost half a million dollars of those same federal subsidies illegally attempting to influence the outcome of an Alaskan referendum on that same issue. She spent federal subsidies instead of Alaskan tax dollars, which would also be illegal, because Alaska receives more federal money than its citizens pay in federal taxes than any other state and could never exist as a populated American territory if it were not for those diverted tax dollars, which are excised from the hard-working and economically productive citizens of places like New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, Rhode Island, and Delaware. Sarah Palin is also willing to allow beluga whales and polar bears go extinct if it means we can prolong our nation's unhealthy addiction to fossilized dinosaur shit for a few more weeks or months. She is a former "beauty queen," and her executive political experience is limited to running a state with fewer people than most campgrounds in the Northeast regularly accommodate on summer holiday weekends with less environmental damage (and also without the benefit of federal subsidies). There are no links in this post because no one could make this shit up.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

What Happens When a Man Who Stole the Presidency Through Fraud and Intimidation Is Allowed to Rule a Cowed Populace for Eight Long Years?

Many so-called law enforcement officers become inflated with a generalized and pervasive disrespect for the rule of law, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Before you know it, even corporate media reps are getting arrested and carted away by cigar-smoking, jack-booted thugs for engaging in perfectly safe and legal activities that happen to annoy members of our political elite.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Joe Biden Named Vice President-To-Be by Barack Obama

Barack Obama has selected Joe Biden as his vice presidential running mate. The selection was made known officially to "key supporters" by SMS text message around 3:00 AM this morning and confirmed on the campaign's web site shortly afterwards, distinguishing Biden as the first candidate for Vice President in the United States to be announced by text message. It is not known if Obama was driving or still at the club at the time he sent the text.

The Potted Evergreen Cicada Makes An Annual Appearance in Roxborough

Friday, August 22, 2008

China Increases Internet Censorship

The Old Gray Lady reports that the authoritarian regime currently occupying the Chinese capital of Beijing has begun to block internet access to iTunes on the Chinese mainland, most likely in retaliation to a benefit album for Tibet being sold by Apple's online music rental service in North America and parts of Europe. According to a knowledgeable Ganymede's Ghost source in Shanghai, the regime already routinely blocks access on the mainland to several very innocuous web sites including Blogger, Wikipedia, and Ganymede's Ghost.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Obama May Have Chosen a Running Mate

With very little time remaining before the Democratic National Convention, President-To-Be Barack Obama is rumored to have chosen a Vice Presidential candidate. It's still a secret though, which leads me to believe that his administration will be much better at providing national security and protecting state secrets than the disasterous Bush-Cheney junta. The International Herald Tribune reports that Obama decided to keep his selection a secret until major campaign donors had been notified first. Expect an announcement on Wednesday. Or, not.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

When Was the Last Time You Were Tested for HIV?

The New York Times is reporting from the 17th International AIDS Conference in Mexico City that, because of a new test that can distinguish between new and longstanding HIV infections, the Centers for Disease Control may have been under-reporting the number of new HIV infections in the US each year for the past fifteen years. The number of people living with HIV could actually be 1.3 to 1.4 million instead of the 1 to 1.1 million it was believed to be until this study was done. Up to one quarter of those infected do not know they are HIV positive. Gay and bisexual men of all skin colors make up 53% of all new infections. Regardless of sexual orientation, blacks are seven times more likely than whites and hispanics are three times more likely than whites to become infected.

Also according the the NYT, the CDC has known of these study findings since October 2007 but held off communicating them to the rest of us until they could get them published in a major medical journal, the occurrence of which was intended to coincide with a press conference and much fanfare at a high-profile international event such as the 17th International AIDS Conference in Mexico City. Two other journals refused to fast-track the article, but JAMA stepped up to the plate. However, the press conference in Mexico City was absolutely ruined when the press embargo was broken by public criticism from "a number of leading health experts" who were just hell bent on preventing as many new infections as possible.

Vote Your Job, Lobby Your Hobby

It appears as though the McCain campaign could be in big trouble in the part of Pennsylvania that James Carville once dismissively referred to as Alabama. I took these pictures on Sunday, July 27, pre-opening night at the Clearfield County Fair in the exhibition area in the main concourse underneath the grandstand where Foreigner headlined on Tuesday evening. It is one of the most prominent places to have an exhibition booth in the entire fairgrounds. The Republicans did not have a booth that I could find—not a smart move if you consider that the fair is one of the the largest annual public gatherings in the area. Clearfield County voted for Rendell and Casey in 2006 but Bush and Specter in 2004. The Democrats are making obvious inroads in this part of the commonwealth in addition to better publicized gains in the suburban counties surrounding Philadelphia. If Obama wins Clearfield County in the general election, it will be an upset but not a surprise.

I think it's worth noting that these guys are actually selling [or requesting donations for the City of Dubois Democratic Committee] Obama buttons, shirts, and lawn signs in a place where folks are accustomed to candidates who give all those things [and not infrequently food, beer, and styrofoam hats] away for free. I'm willing to excuse the cute donkey's unabashed sexism if it helps in any way to spare us another four years of a Republican administration made up of self-serving business cronies. Anyhow, they're not saying we should take away the little lady's right to vote, just that we should show her how to do it. I wonder if the "Vote your job, lobby your hobby" sign is intended as a warning not to vote Republican simply because the NRA tells you to. If you don't have a job, you won't be able to afford a gun or hunting trips, and no Democratic legislator in Pennsylvania in his or her right mind is going to vote to outlaw hunting if you call them after the election and ask them nicely not to.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Component of Crude Oil Found on Titan

According to some very clever scientists studying data and images from Cassini who have recently been published in Nature, Saturn's largest moon Titan has lakes of ethane on its surface. It is the only other planet or moon that we know of in our solar system besides Earth to have lakes of some kind of liquid on its surface. Not ones to miss major news items very frequently, especially items that involve space probes and things that didn't turn to shit during their time in office, nor ones likely to overlook the fact that ethane is a component of crude oil, which can be made into many safe and convenient petroleum products at all the clean and efficient petroleum refineries that were built to-spec in the middle of the Twentieth Century, the Bush-Cheney junta is expected to announce plans soon for building giant moon-shocking space-based oil rigs that will be paid for by our great-great-great grandchildren in order to prolong our dependence on constitutionally protected petroleum products such as Vaseline, which may not be used by more than one man and one woman at a time in 36 states, at any cost. Halliburton, Exxon-Mobile, and Northrop Grumman are expected to receive the first no-bid contracts.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Boycott the 2010 Census [Unless They Decide to Allow Their Workers to Record Data Accurately and Truthfully]!

According to this story in the Silicon Valley Mercury News [that I read about on Pam's House Blend], the US Census Bureau has announced that it plans to instruct its employees to lie when recording data about married gay and lesbian families in the upcoming 2010 census. Because of the irrational refusal of the federal government to acknowledge the existence of non-heterosexual marriage, [which those taking the red pills often attempt to excuse by uttering the magic incantation, "Well, it's because of DOMA,"] federal workers recording data for the upcoming census will be instructed to "classify" married non-heterosexual couples as "not married." The full effect of all this inaccurate data is yet to be determined, but it might have something to do with lower funding for social programs in communities with higher concentrations of gay and lesbian families.

A good way for gay and lesbian families to respond to this affront to their dignity might be to boycott the census entirely and refuse to provide any data beyond a statement such as, "Due to the federal government's pig-headed, naive, irrational, and superstition-based refusal to acknowledge the nature of reality as it pertains to the existence of non-heterosexual marriage, this household refuses to participate in the 2010 Census in any way." I think that might be technically illegal, which would make this an act of civil disobedience. You have been warned. However, I personally have refused to participate in the census and sit on federal juries since the mid-nineties for the very same reasons and have never had to face any consequences.

Monday, July 14, 2008

It's an America Sale!

Iconic landmarks in the US are once again being sold to the highest international bidders just as they were during the last Bush presidency when Japanese investors bought Rockefeller Center. One can only hope this development in the international macrobrewing business community will lead to price and distribution parity between Stella and Bud in North America.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Firefox 3 Rocks

I'm running it on a 1+-year-old MacBook running 10.4.?. It loads faster and looks slicker, and I have yet to see a pop-up from a blocked site. I'm sure there are more reasons than that to upgrade, but none that were so pleasantly obvious to me. The install was a bit goosey because it asked me if I wanted to replace my existing [and working just fine] version of Firefox 2 without assuring me that it would import all my bookmarks and preferences. It did but only after I aborted the first install to rename the old version just in case the new didn't work. You can get it here.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Summer Settles Into Philadelphia

Hell's under water,
a warm wet blanket, woven
from July's first breath.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Roxborough Has a New Church

According to the Review, it's called St Miriam's of the Catholic Apostolic Church of Antioch, and they are sharing space with the Reconstructionist Mishkan Shalom Congregation at Shurs Lane and Freeland Ave. The fact that neither congregation is preoccupied with abusing gay and lesbian folks is welcome news.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Gavin Newsom Was Right!

It looks like California is going to become the second state in the nation to treat all of its citizens equally under the law. Unless, of course, the apartheid-loving, psycho-Nazi-Jesus-freaks who have appointed themselves arbiters of morality for our entire nation gather enough signatures to put a special referendum on the ballot to nullify the court's decision and then convince enough of their neighbors to vote for it. Governor Schwarzenegger has vowed to uphold the ruling. If he ever had any chance of winning Cali in the general election, John McCain would have shit his pants.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Raging Bigots Stifled By One Courageous Pennsylvania Senator

At the behest of Republican Rasputin-wannabes such as Karl Rove, Pennsylvania, not unlike many other "swing" states, has recently been subjected to repeated efforts by Christian extremists (who receive much of their funding from forces outside the commonwealth) to ratify a constitutional amendment that would relegate our law-abiding and tax-paying gay and lesbian citizens to permanent second-class citizenship by denying them legal recognition of any marriages, civil unions, or domestic partnerships they might choose to form. Before any constitutional amendment, even bigoted and Nazi-apartheid-like amendments such as this one, can be put to the citizens of Pennsylvania in a referendum, it must be passed by both houses of the legislature in two consecutive sessions with reconciled language. Last session, the House and Senate each passed very different versions and then did nothing to reconcile the versions, putting the Christian extremist bigots back at square one. This session, the extremist forces managed to convince one bigoted freshman lawmaker to re-introduce the failed legislation.

They didn't anticipate the reaction they would receive from Senator Vince Fumo this time around. No one did. Fumo has always believed that gay and lesbian people deserve equal treatment under the law. Now that he's announced he's retiring because of health issues and an ongoing corruption investigation, he apparently feels more free to really say what's on his mind. During testimony before his committee, Fumo informed one Christian extremist who happened to be African American and was speaking in favor of the amendment that Fumo's more conservative colleagues in the Senate would certainly vote to re-legalize black slavery if they could do it on a secret ballot. People pretended to be shocked, but anyone who knows upstate Pennsylvania (anywhere besides Philadelphia and its adjacent suburban counties), knows that Fumo was telling the sad truth, not committing hyperbole as the Daily diplomatically asserts in this op-ed.

After the slavery revelation failed to derail the legislation (which would be surprising almost anywhere besides Pennsylvania), Fumo attached an amendment to the amendment so that it would also outlaw most heterosexual divorces. Up to that point in the debate, the bigots kept asserting that they were not bigots, and all they wanted to do was to protect the institution of marriage. However, when they were faced with the prospect of legislation that might actually preserve a few marriages (on legal paper at least) but would do nothing to subjugate gay and lesbian citizens, they turned around and went home as very unhappy and unfulfilled bigots. The amendment was promptly tabled. The next time it could possibly come up for debate would be after the 2008 presidential election.

Thanks to the infinite fuck-ups and abuses of the Bush-Cheney junta, our beloved country is in a sorry state. It's nice to know (and it gives me hope that we may re-establish democracy on a national level very soon) they don't always get their way.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Condoleezza Liezzalot Is a Big Fat Liar [And Her Pants Are On Fire]

You know you're doing a bad job when Jimmy Carter, however politely and indirectly, calls you a liar [or by implication an incompetent tool who isn't completely informed about one of the most important issues facing the government department she is supposed to be leading].

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Here's Why You Might Not Have Seen Many Hillary Canvassers

As part of its election issue coverage, Citypaper has included narratives from undercover reporters they sent to volunteer for the local offices of the Clinton and Obama campaigns. My favorite part was the answer the reporter volunteering for Clinton got when he asked to canvass in West Philly: "We avoid areas where there are security concerns." [DOES THAT INCLUDE IRAQ???, to whence Senator Clinton voted with the Bush-Cheney junta either cynically, willfully ignorantly, or implausibly naïvely to deploy hundreds of thousands of our troops with probably disastrous global consequences.] I wonder if they considered the possibility of being sued à la Food Lion? Don't the Clintons know a lot of trial lawyers? I'm just happy we're not discussing more important issues...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I'm not going to write much about this so Ken can keep reading.

The Bush-Cheney Junta Really Wants You and Your Children to Breathe Dirty Air

The Bush-Cheney junta has succeeded, mostly by appointing unqualified political lackeys to very important positions, in politicizing the Environmental Protection Agency in much the same way they politicized the Department of Justice, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Federal Emergency Management Agency. During the repressive rule of the Bush-Cheney junta, American citizens have been subject to an EPA that instead of serving to protect their physical environment as intended is being used to promote big business and the toxic products it purveys [when the products themselves could be made nontoxic with a little elbow grease and some deep thoughts, but of course that would require reinvesting profits instead of sucking them out of our economy and sequestering them in offshore tax havens].

Monday, April 7, 2008

Guns Don't Kill People

God does (to punish them for doing stupid, selfish things like aiding and abetting the NRA in its never-ending quest to devalue all human life in the name of scared, straight guys who are obsessed with their own sexual shortcomings).

Hugo Chavez Provides Bush-Cheney Junta With an Excellent Pretext for an Invasion of Venezuela

It's a good thing the Bush-Cheney junta is not well known for keeping up with the European press. Otherwise, they'd know all about this article in Spiegel detailing the contents of recently killed FARC rebel leader Raul Reyes' laptop, which was recovered from a FARC jungle encampment two miles inside Venezuela following a recent international incident. Not only does the laptop contain the particulars of FARC blow-smuggling routes that the US military has been unable to suss since the early 80s, it also contains all the sordid details of financial and military links between the FARC and Hugo Chavez himself. What? Not enough scandal for one laptop? Okay, here's a bonus: the laptop also contained enough details to track down 30 kg of missing uranium presumed to be intended for manufacturing armor-piercing projectile weapons for use by the FARC. It is widely believed that when this information finally comes to the attention of the Bush-Cheney junta, they will insist that the uranium was intended for the manufacture of an atom bomb.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

If the Bishop Were a Witch, She'd Say, "I'm Meltinnngggg....."

One of the Inky's lead stories this morning describes one of the biggest contractions of the Roman Catholic Church in our nation's history. Despite the fact that the population of South Jersey is growing rapidly, the church just announced plans to eliminate almost half of its parishes there because it is unable to attract enough new priests or stop a decades-long hemorrhage of existing parishioners. The church has been severely out of touch with the reality of day-to-day life for most of its parishioners in the anglophonic world since at least the 16th Century. In the past few decades, this gulf between the church's hierarchical, all-male leadership and its parishioners has grown increasingly wider for several obvious reasons that include [but are certainly not limited to] several thousand cases of sexual abuse of children by clergy and the ensuing attempted cover-ups, the selection of a rabidly homophobic and misogynist pope who was at one time a member of the Hitler Youth, and a refusal to allow the use [or even discussion] of various humane and safe prophylactic modalities to prevent life-threatening diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Friday, April 4, 2008

US Forest Service Is Wasting Money Looking for Producers of Legal Medicinal Marijuana

ABC News is reporting that the US Forest Service, which is suffering under the temporary control of an unqualified political lackey appointed by the Bush-Cheney junta, has wasted over $100,000 US (about 500 Euro or $12.50 Canadian) on an areal surveillance drone of limited technological capabilities intended to search for marijuana plants in a state whose citizens have voted democratically to legalize marijuana for medicinal use. The use of this drone clearly illustrates how the Bush-Cheney junta has sunk to a new low in its disdain for the United States Constitution, Bill of Rights, and the rule of law. Instead of limiting their illegal domestic surveillance to attempting to prevent terrorist attacks, the Bush-Cheney junta is now apparently asserting through its actions that is has the right to conduct illegal surveillance with the sole purpose of countermanding the democratic decisions of one of the US's most populous states, which also just happens to have voted against the Bush-Cheney junta during the last "election." The fact that the citizens of the State of California reached the decision to legalize medicinal marijuana to alleviate suffering of those with chronic, debilitating, and terminal illnesses appears also appears to be lost on members of the junta.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Jay Leno Is Irrelevant and Should Be Treated As Such

This caught me by surprise. I didn't realize anyone watched the Tonight Show, let alone gay people like Armistead Maupin. Dave is just funnier.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

American College Students Banned from Withholding Personal Contact Information from Military Recruiters

In a clearly desperate attempt to maintain troop levels more than five years into an ill-conceived, ill-fated, illegal, and disastrous invasion of Iraq, the Defense Department has dreamed up a new, superdraconian interpretation of existing draconian regulations that clearly interfere with the free speech rights of every employee of every university in the country that receives any federal funding whatsoever. If the DOD gets its way, students who request that their respective universities withhold personal academic, demographic and contact data (such as academic interests, home addresses, and unlisted phone numbers) from military recruiters will have to have that data withheld from ALL prospective employers, even if those students specifically request that that information is withheld only from military recruiters. The DOD is very well known in the United States for its discriminatory and unfair treatment of gay and lesbian citizens. It is unclear why it has become so intent on obtaining the personal data of many folks it would never hire because of its own discriminatory and abusive policies.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

State Department Incapable of Maintaining Security of the Private Data of American Citizens Under Leadership of Bush-Cheney Junta

Private contractors [scabs] working for Condoleezza Rice recently hacked into the private passport files of Senators Clinton, McCain, and Obama. The whole world is screaming about it. This development is not prophesied to lend much momentum to the junta's efforts to bully congress into passing a continuation of the so-called PATRIOT act, legislation that actually abrogates many of the rights and responsibilities that our patriotic forebears fought, rallied, protested, and died for.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

One Small Victory For One Small Mind

The Daily News is reporting that the owner of Geno's Steaks, whose name is actually Joey, will not be prosecuted further in response to his posting a sign explaining that he is capable of conducting business in only one language.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Democracy Is Fragile

Funny [weird, not funny ha ha] that this chapter takes place in Texas.

The Twentieth Century Is Still Waiting for the Ambien to Work

Fidel Castro is retiring. Of his own free will, more or less. His brother may [or may not] succeed him and may [or may not] implement modest economic and democratic reforms.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Activist Judge Installed by Bush-Cheney Junta Attempts to Engage in Prior Restraint of the Press to Protect Money Launderers in the Caymen Islands

The popular web site Wikileaks has been permanently ordered off the internet by an apparently insane and corrupt judge in California. The sole effect of the judge's order can be seen here. Fortunately, the internet itself as well as the Wikileaks site were designed specifically to thwart attempts at censorship, and the insane judge was only able to shut off one specific URL for what will most certainly end up being a very temporary amount of time. The entire Wikileaks site, including all US- and Caymen Island-specific content can still be read here, here, and here. Without defense attorneys for Wikileaks present and and apparently satisfied that twenty-four hours' notice via email was sufficient, the judge, who was installed by the Bush-Cheney junta [go figure], signed the unconstitutional injunction that had been written by plaintiff's attorneys from a "bank" with branches only in Switzerland and the Caymen Islands. Read all the sordid details from Wikileaks yourself.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Artists to the Rescue

Today the Inky has a very thoughtful front page piece about Philly's growing arts community. Someone has to pay the bills since all the factories closed, and all the new, glittering towers in Center City have materialized only after being granted ten-year property tax abatements (much to the chagrin of us schmucks living in "existing" homes). Now for the hard part, moving into and helping to rehabilitate some very poor and physically dangerous neighborhoods surrounding Center City that have been decimated by over a century of economic and cultural injustices. Makes sense (and restores one's faith in humanity) that cutting edge artists would step in before the government.

Roy Blunt Is Very, Very, Very Angry

If you believe what this craven coward has to say, not absolving telecommunications megacorporations from illegally assisting the Bush-Cheney junta in its illegal spying on the supposedly private domestic communications of American citizens who were not even suspected of doing anything illegal would be treasonous. Of course, this would only be the case if you think it's better to be simply alive in a fascist dictatorship than it is to be living as a free person in a free country with one set of laws that apply to everyone and that are not amended retroactively to give special rights to corporations that chose to break them simply because a corrupt ruling junta (of questionable legal legitimacy itself) demanded so during a time in which the very same set of laws were under extreme threat from those whom would have us do away with them in favor of an alternative, more religiously extreme set of laws.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Bush Appointee at HUD Attempts to Extort the City of Brotherly Love

The Inky's lead story today informs us that the Bush-Cheney junta's man who is temporarily in charge of HUD attempted to extort Philadelphia's Housing Authority to give up valuable land intended for new public housing. The junta's guy, Alphonso Jackson, thought the land could be better used by a wealthy financial supporter of the Bush-Cheney junta. Considering the fact that Bush and Cheney are both still free men after committing dozens and dozens of high crimes and misdemeanors that include starting an illegal war in which over 80,000 innocent people have lost their lives, it is not anticipated that Jackson will be subject to any sort of justice in the this life.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Virginia Lives Up to Its Reputation

Christian extremists in Virginia Beach (home of Pat Robertson) have set their sights on Abercrombie & Fitch.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No Wonder He Looked 40, Definitely Not Younger Than 35

Heath Ledger's body was found yesterday by his maid and a masseuse on the floor next to his bed in his Manhattan abode. He was only 28.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Can You Say President Fuckabee?

Fuckabee. Fuckabee! FUCKABEE! As fun as that epithet would be to toss around casually in conversation for the next four years (and possibly four more), an actual Fuckabee junta would most likely be anything but fun for those unfortunate enough not to have been born practicing heterosexual Christian extremists.