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Open Wide

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


We think not. Today Dick Cheney's offices were engulfed in flames and billowing smoke (thank goodness no support staff were injured) while Bush-Cheney junta stoodges cried alligator tears for the media after being exposed lying to the American public about how they didn't really or actually did encourage the CIA to destroy all of its taped intorturegations.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

George Washington Was Apparently Incapable of Carrying Out the Activities of Daily Living

A new exhibit all about the human beings that the first president of the current republic enslaved personally is opening on Independence Mall. Amazingly, it is the first national monument acknowledging the millions of enslaved people on whose backs rests the economic prosperity of the southeastern and south central United States.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Republican Denial of the Nature and Existence of Human Sexuality Leads to Serious Consequences

The Old Gray Lady has definitive proof that it takes a Republican administration to increase the rate of unwed, teenage pregnancy in the United States. As proof mounts that teaching children abstinence only outside the bounds of a narrowly defined, orthodox Judeo-Christian, heterosexual marriage doesn't work, Republicans remain firmly committed to denying all these extra babies adequate education, nutrition, and medical care.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Editor of Ganymede's Ghost Is Old Enough to Be Father of Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Over 12,000 military careers have been cut short since we decided to allow gay and lesbian Americans to serve their nation secretly fourteen years ago. Apparently not asking is not the same thing as witch hunts that solicit unsubstantiated accusations from a soldier's piers.

Republicans Suffer Increased Risk for Psychologic Denial

Gallup has all the details.