Open Wide

Open Wide

Friday, August 31, 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It's probably better to have no Attorney General rather than a craven, self-serving one dead set on subverting the Constitution and the liberty and justice for which our ancestors fought and died.

Friday, August 24, 2007

FAUX "News" Loses Opportunity to Malign and Distort Records of Democratic Presidential Candidates

CBS News is reporting the cancellation of a Democratic Presidential Primary debate that was to have been sponsored by the Congressional Black Caucus and FAUX "News." Caucus member Bennie Thompson, who is quoted in the article, offers the following face-saving explanation: "[the] overwhelming number of party presidential debates has created a scheduling challenge." In more direct and explicit words, he means that three of the leading candidates, including the only one who might describe himself as black, are refusing to participate becuase of FAUX's well-established record as nothing more than a propaganda outlet for the Bush-Cheney junta.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Suburban Enviroterrorists Admit to Contaminating Philadelphia's Water Supply with Biologic Agents

Stay out of the Schuylkill for the time being. There's more shit than usual in it. One wonders what would happen if millions of gallons of untreated sewage from North Philly were "accidentally discharged" on Suburban Square.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

The sky is falling, hell is freezing, and the United States of America is running out of bullets.
Finally, MS NBC has unearthed incontrovertible proof that the directional flow of Cheney's circulatory system was reversed after he turned into a giant blood clot.
Democrats, who control the Pennsylvania House of Representatives by one vote, are urging their fellow partisans to pester the Republicans, who control the Pennsylvania Senate by a slim margin, not to fail to fund the Jonas Salk Legacy Fund, which could create thousands of decent jobs in the healthcare and biomedical research sector of the Commonwealth's victorian but plucky economy as well as help cure devastating diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Republcan spokesdemons say, "Not only is failing to act a good way to screw the poor in need of decent jobs, it's also a conveniently indirect and underhanded way to support the Bush-Cheney junta's opposition to stem cell research, which is incredibly unpopular amongst voters in this rapidly aging state. But no, wait, the best part is, it actually makes it easier for Baby Jesus to smite people afflicted with horrible diseases by preventing the discovery of so-called cures, which we believe are actually nothing more than spells cast by witches."
I love living in a free country!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Transgender-Themed Mural Stays (for now)

The Inky is reporting that a transgender-themed mural on a victorian house in Center City will be preserved against the wishes of the historical commission, whose members claim to be unaware of the neighborhood's historical role as a safe haven for sexual minorities.