The Potted Evergreen Cicada Makes An Annual Appearance in Roxborough

Just because you're paranoid, don't assume a blimp isn't following you.

Because shooting animals that can actually run away would be too challenging.

Democrats, who control the Pennsylvania House of Representatives by one vote, are urging their fellow partisans to pester the Republicans, who control the Pennsylvania Senate by a slim margin, not to fail to fund the Jonas Salk Legacy Fund, which could create thousands of decent jobs in the healthcare and biomedical research sector of the Commonwealth's victorian but plucky economy as well as help cure devastating diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer's disease. Republcan spokesdemons say, "Not only is failing to act a good way to screw the poor in need of decent jobs, it's also a conveniently indirect and underhanded way to support the Bush-Cheney junta's opposition to stem cell research, which is incredibly unpopular amongst voters in this rapidly aging state. But no, wait, the best part is, it actually makes it easier for Baby Jesus to smite people afflicted with horrible diseases by preventing the discovery of so-called cures, which we believe are actually nothing more than spells cast by witches."