Component of Crude Oil Found on Titan

According to some very clever scientists studying data and images from Cassini who have recently been published in Nature, Saturn's largest moon Titan has lakes of ethane on its surface. It is the only other planet or moon that we know of in our solar system besides Earth to have lakes of some kind of liquid on its surface. Not ones to miss major news items very frequently, especially items that involve space probes and things that didn't turn to shit during their time in office, nor ones likely to overlook the fact that ethane is a component of crude oil, which can be made into many safe and convenient petroleum products at all the clean and efficient petroleum refineries that were built to-spec in the middle of the Twentieth Century, the Bush-Cheney junta is expected to announce plans soon for building giant moon-shocking space-based oil rigs that will be paid for by our great-great-great grandchildren in order to prolong our dependence on constitutionally protected petroleum products such as Vaseline, which may not be used by more than one man and one woman at a time in 36 states, at any cost. Halliburton, Exxon-Mobile, and Northrop Grumman are expected to receive the first no-bid contracts.