USGS Moves to Catalogue Every Last Little Bit of Dinosaur Shit That Could Possibly Be Sold For Profit By Exxon-Mobile

Observers remain conflicted about the signifigance of a USGS project to identify some of the last remaining untapped fossil fuel deposits on the planet. However, industry insiders explain that it is expected to be much easier to plunder extraterritorial arctic resources than those within our borders, which enjoy the unfortunate protection of domestic environmental regulations.